Living Causes Death - Episode 5
"Second Hand Smoke"

Written/directed by Mike Gupta.

========================================

Rajiv - I don't think you know what the fuck you're talkin' 
about my friend.  

Pedro - Yeah you've lost your marbles man.

Jimmy - I still think Howard Stern is a fuckin' asshole.

Rajiv - But he is a defender of the first amendment and free speech.

Jimmy - Free speech my fuckin ass! You have to pay $20 a month to 
hear his views on lesbian midget mud wrestling!

Rajiv - Good point.

(cloud of smoke)

Rajiv - You know it's really hard to eat with all this smoke

(Rajiv and Jimmy cough)

Jimmy - We should call the manager

Rajiv - Excuse me my friend!  I did not see cancer on the menu.  
Now take that ciggerete and shove it up your ass!

Patron - Excuse me turban man.  This is a free country and I have the 
right to smoke where ever the hell I want to. If you don't like it, 
go back to your home country.

Jimmy - Take your cancer sticks outta here or we're calling the manager.

Patron -  Call whoever you want, I am not stopping my right to smoke.

Jimmy (knocks on door) - Excuse me manager, there is someone smoking near 
us and we can't enjoy our meal.

(opens door, manager is smoking a cigar)

Manager - What seems to be the problem Gentlemen?

Jimmy - Oh big fuckin' surprise.  There's people smoking around us and 
it's making our food taste like Keith Richards. 

Manager - Well I'm sorry, it is our God given right to destroy our lungs 
and put long narrow objects in our mouths.  I prefer big brown ones myself.

Rajiv - Okay, this is getting us nowhere.  I got an idea.

(Rajiv, Pedro and Jimmy sets the restaurant on fire)

Rajiv - Light a match...

(Patrons screaming)

Manager - What the hell is the big idea?!?!  You set my entire business 
on fire just because a couple of people were smoking around you while 
you were eating?

Jimmy - Well not only that, the service was atrocious.


the end.

========================================
more info at livingcausesdeath.com
(c) 2006 Mike Gupta. All Rights Reserved.