Living Causes Death - Episode 2
"Outsourced"

Written/directed by Mike Gupta.

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Jimmy - Ahh this fuckin' computer is so slow now it's pissing me off here.  
I'm just tryin to look at pictures of big hooters and it is freezin up on me.  
(Blue Screen).  AHH PIECE OF SHIT! Are you kidding me!  
Where the hell is that number to those people.

(Calls Gayway Computers)

Gayway - Hello and welcome to Computer Phone, brought to you by 
The New York Times and Hot 97.  If you know the name of your computer 
problem, press 1.  To choose from a list of computer problems, press 2. 

(Presses a bunch of numbers)

Gayway - You have selected "BIOS Error."  If you know the name of the 
BIOS Motherboard manufacturer, press 1.  To choose from a list of 
BIOS Motherboard manufacturers, press 2.  

Jimmy - Ahh you're fuckin' killin me here!  (hits phone)

Gayway - Please hold while we transfer you.

Sanjay - Hello.  What can I help you with today?

Jimmy - Yeah how ya doin there cornflake.  My computer 
does not want to start up at all.

Sanjay - Did you try turning it off and turning it back on?

Jimmy - Yeah there froot loops, it DOES NOT TURN ON AT ALL!

Sanjay - My friend did you try rebooting?

Jimmy - I tried that 50 times...

Sanjay - Please try unplugging it and plugging it back in.

Jimmy - Oh go fuck yourself.  I should try calling Rajiv.  

(Calls Rajiv)

Rajiv - Hello!

Jimmy - Whats up there spanky.  My computer does not start.  
You comin over?  

Rajiv - Did you try turning it off and turning it back on?

Jimmy - Yeah like a thousand times, can you come over?

Rajiv - I don't have a car.  I will call a taxi service.

(Calls Taxi service)

Taxi Service - Hello, and welcome to Taxi Phone.  If you know 
the name of the street you want to be picked up from, press 1.  
To choose from a list of streets, press 2.

Rajiv - What the fuck my friend! Do they even give jobs to 
human beings anymore? 

the end.

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more info at livingcausesdeath.com
(c) 2006 Mike Gupta. All Rights Reserved.